Consider your rank and relationship, and a suitable setting. Make sure you are in the right frame of mind and that you have time to genuinely listen.
Ask how they’re doing, and when they say “Fine” or “Not bad” (like we all do), ask again: "No really, how are you?" This shows you're prepared to make time for them and genuinely want to know how they're coping.
Remind them of their strengths, and share what you’ve noticed: "You’re usually cracking jokes, but I noticed you’ve been quieter lately.”
Let them speak while maintaining eye contact and nodding. Avoid jumping in with your own experiences — this is about them.
Ask how long they've been experiencing this issue, and whether it’s affecting other areas of their life like their relationships or work.
Ask what's helped them before, what coping strategies they're already using or considering, and what could help them to remain ready-for-duty.
After some time has passed, check in again by asking whether anything has changed and if they’ve tried something new.
Remember it’s not your sole responsibility to help someone.
The Movember Conversations tool offers short, interactive scenarios to build confidence starting supportive conversations.